The terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day

No, it's not all sunshine and light living in a new place. Generally I consider myself a pretty even keel person, (if a bit stressed out a lot of the time). But living here, my highs and lows are so much more pronounced as everything is so new and that can be interesting and fun as well as frustrating and challenging...

Yesterday was just one of those days where everything seemed to go wrong. Spent two days working on a website design and at the end of the day presented it and the response was, "I just don't like it." Ouch. And fair enough, design is subjective and I'm always happy to try new things and push the envelope but it was a bit harsh and unexpected and the idea of starting the project all over again was daunting... So, I headed out in a glum mood and was walking through the Beaver Cleaver housing estate in which I work and hating it and I just started to get overwhelmed. (That negativity can just sneak up on you.) I started thinking about how much I hate my commute and have very little human interaction in my day which can be difficult for a person like myself who craves the social...so then I started thinking about how much I hate boring, vanilla-flavored Drogheda and...how much I miss my friends and family and feel very lonely sometimes...you get my train of thought.

While busy in my own head, I arrived at the train station to see that my train had already arrived so I started to run through the parking lot to try and catch it (without thinking about the fact that parking lots are for cars) and ran out between some parked cars and almost head-on into a moving vehicle scaring myself and the driver half to death and stumbling onto my knee. And then I missed the train anyway.

At which point, I was breathless and freaked and just basically found a corner where I could have a complete flip-out (albeit a quiet one.) I really, really, wanted to talk to someone but couldn't since mobile phone calls to the states would cost me my first-born-child and that just made me more upset so I snarfled my way onto the train and called Tom who, it must be said, really did his best to try to cheer me up.

When I arrived back in Dublin, I walked about 40 minutes to this bar called, The Barge," where Tom and fellow IBTers were celebrating (?) his last day working there which is today. I think the walk definitely did me some good although the sky did start spitting a few times and I thought to myself what a perfect end to the day it would be if I ended up soaking wet...

The night itself did improve from there. Some of Tom's co's are very nice and I really do feel much better when I'm around other people. It ended up being a pretty late night so today, I'm tired and attempting to take another stab at this website but at least it's Friday and tomorrow I go to London for a long weekend which is so very much what I need.

I suppose admitting that I was a tear-stained, snot-spewing mess in a public train-station is a little more disclosure and unfun-ness than y'all are used to in this bloggy forum but this is what's on my mind at the moment. Gotta do some thinking (or tinkin' as they say here) this weekend about how I'm gonna make this place work for me. Might need a Drogheda-free future but we'll see. Definitely need some good food/good company/good times this weekend...

Miss you all. Hope yer week is going better than mine. ;)